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4 entries this month
03:55 Sep 17 2023
Times Read: 204
Just a quick note, I'm going to be away for a bit. I've acquired a new level - anxiety attacks.
I will return!
P.s. please don't send messages on Facebook to. Send them here so I can feel your gooey love when I return. 💜
01:19 Sep 09 2023
Times Read: 245
Holy whiplash, batman.
Grief just makes that heavy hollow ball just sit. But then.. THEN when that little heavy hollow ball turns into anger. Holy Jeebus. It's like it's ignited. I think anger is easier for me to handle. I think because I can express anger. Example-
What in the deep fried fuck is wrong with some people? I mean *I* am not the most pulled together person, but holy fuck butter. The amount of "Are you shittin' my nuts right now" is just unbelievable. It's beyond a "You need Jesus or whatever Deity you subscribe to". This is more along the lines of "Strap into this jacket and sit in this cozy padded room" type of shit.
I have got to get more drugs. Lawrd knows I ain't eating the damn chocolate ones I have.
17:56 Sep 08 2023
Times Read: 275
I decided to clean up my bookmarks last night. Organize them so I could better find stuff. I had two folders left to do. Dinner recipes and Dinners to try.
I started going through them and the grief came out of nowhere. Seeing things I know was some of my dad's favorites that I made. He'd ask me to make some all the time because it was comfort.
It was odd. That heavy ball of grief that just came and settled right in the middle of my diaphragm. Just leaded and heavy. It was also... empty. Like the center was blank, empty, missing, but so heavy.
The physical effects of grief are so odd and so random. It can make you just stop functioning and shut yourself away and just be done with the world for the day.
It's still heavy, but not as heavy as last night. Today will be a day.
04:33 Sep 02 2023
Times Read: 352
I'm just gunna sit there right here.
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COMMENTS
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Nekirena
15:54 Sep 17 2023
EstrangedOne
17:53 Sep 17 2023
Vodka
21:51 Sep 17 2023
Do what you need to do, self care always! Love you!
Vampirewitch39
19:01 Sep 18 2023
But but....that just leave me to deal with wife. * shifty eyes* Can I come with? I'll keep my stinky cheese farting in check. *grabs you by your shirt* Don't leave me here with these PEOPLE!!!
Theodora
13:39 Sep 20 2023
I am so sorry. Anxiety attacks suck big time. Thinking of you and sending love your way.